Take me Who the Bridge

19th July 2010 • Blog Post by Ben Paddon •

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“They’ve released images of the final boxart for Series Fnarg. Here, have a look.”
“Is that it? That looks shite! It’s just the bloody promo shot from before the series launched. ”
“Well yes, but actually it’s really rather clever.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“How?”
“Well, it’s part of a pattern, doesn’t it? Series Two and Four both featured the time vortex on the cover.”
“Did they?”
“Yep. Remember? Series Two had that lenticular thingy. And Series Four had Donna and the Doctor standing in front of a very reflective vortex.”
“So?”
“Well, it means there’s a pattern! All the other sets involve the TARDIS in some way. Series One had the TARDIS exterior, and Series Three and the David Tennant Specials used the TARDIS floor as part of the design! There’s logic behind this decision!”
“You’re an odd bastard, d’you know that? Does the set at least come with some decent extras?”
“Actually, yes. Bleeding Cool Comic News have reported that Series Fnarg will feature two brand new ‘bridging sequences’ called Meanwhile, In The TARDIS… that have apparently been newly filmed.”
“Pretty clever, the way you said the URL like that.”
“I thought so.”
“So… what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’re not real. We’re just disembodied voices who exist solely to make a point about about some DVD artwork.”
“And Bluray.”
“And Bluray, yes. But we’ve served our purpose now. What happens next?”
“Hm. I dunno. I guess we just sort of… stop.”
“Stop? Like, dead?”
“We were never really alive.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know. Here it comes. Are you ready?”
“No.”
“Me either.”

Ben Paddon certainly isn’t here to help a malevolent entity to bring down the website. Ben writes and hosts PortsCenter, a webseries about video game ports that exists solely because someone once asked him if Doom on the PSone was any good. His favourite colour is mope.

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7 Responses

  1. And notice, the boxset doesn’t say ‘series fnarg’ — it says SERIES 5.

  2. Those disembodied voices are delightfully creepy, btw. Well done Mr Sir.

  3. Hendiadys

    Hmm, “newly filmed”. I wonder what this means. Could they now be in the budget block for series 6? If so, there may well be a couple more TARDIS rooms built, which they might be retro fitting into series 5 by way of those (wonderfully titled, by the way) “meanwhile”s.

    My other thought are that these are Children in Need specials that will air in the usual way.

  4. Hendiadys

    “Meanwhile, In the TARDIS”… what will it be?

    1) Since The Big Bang – ie what’s happening to The Doctor, Amy and Rory “now”.
    2) During the series, between episodes, the Doctor and Amy put to rest all those questions about TARDIS-based toilet breaks.
    3) “What was happening to the TARDIS while the Doctor and Amy were elsewhere”.
    4) Documentary material about the new interior. (Probably not, as these wouldn’t count as “bridging sequences”.)

  5. Ploppy

    Richard Herring wants his routine back.

  6. Hendiadys

    Doctor Who Unreleased Scene from The Eleventh Hour and Beast Below – Bridging the two

  7. Hendiadys

    And another one as well drizzles. This time between the old Flesh and Stones and that The Vampires of Venice:

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