First up, let’s get the obvious preconceptions out of the way.  I think James Cordon is shit.  He’s a shit comedien and a shit celebrity and I want him to cock off.  Gareth Roberts is also shit.  He has written among the worse Doctor Who scripts since the new series began and he actually ended Planet of the Dead with The Doctor suggesting that the army might be a wise career choice.  However, I didn’t go into this episode being entirely pessimistic, mainly because it’s impossible to not look forward to something with Matt Smith in it but also partly because the idea behind the episodes looked pretty good.

To the list of utterly stellar single-story guest performances in new era Doctor Who – that already includes the likes of Derek Jacobi, Julian Bleach, Carey Mulligan and David Morrissey – we must surely add Tony Curran. In an episode where all the advance publicity concerned the identity of the writer – possibly the most independently famous name so far to write for the series – attention in the aftermath surely falls squarely on the guest character whose name, for only the second time in the show’s history, is the leading word of the story’s title.

Er, not here, unfortunately – if I’d wanted to review it for this site, I’d have had to pay for it. So instead, the often-cited-by-BBC-for-anything-related-to-Who-nowadays site Den of Geek got me a free copy, and I reviewed it there. If, you know, you’re bothered. But it’s quite a good little book, anyway.

I have a confession to make: the name “Chris Chibnall” does not make my blood run, erm, cold.

Maybe it’s my reservations about judging any writer’s work when RTD was known for rewriting nearly every single script anyway. Maybe it’s because I’ve blanked out the entirety of 42. Or maybe it’s because Chibnall was responsible for one of my favourite episodes of Life on Mars. Whatever the reason, I wasn’t going into this pair of episodes with an immense sense of dread.

Oh my word, wasn’t that exciting? The twists, the turns, the astounding revelations. My heart was pounding in my chest when it wasn’t leaping up into my throat. And that ending! What an ending.

But enough about the Ashes to Ashes finale. Let’s talk about “The Hungry Earth”.

Vampires Of Venice was initially greeted with a shrug of the shoulders on announcement, with most fans regarding it as a late bid to jump onto the Twilight bandwagon. Curiosity has risen, however, as more details of the setting emerged, and the final scene of Flesh & Stone gave us possibly the programme’s most unconventional cliffhanger of all time to further pique the interest. In the end, the second view of unfevered anticipation was justified. The story is a strong one, but with a slightly dated aspect which restrains it from quite standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the Steven Moffat-scripted entries in the series.

It’s a little moment in the great scheme of things, but for me, it’s the most telling few seconds of MoffatWho so far. About two minutes and twenty seconds into “Flesh and Stone”, with the assembled cast stood atop a hatch in the crashed Byzantium, the Doctor drops inside. An astounded Amy looks down to see him stood at right angles to her, on what for him is the “floor” – an artificial gravity system having “corrected” him.

It’s a simple trick. It’s not the most original thing in the world (if you want playing with gravity, watch 2001 some time). But by gum it’s inventive – it’s an idea. A small, neat idea for a quick and simple gag, but an idea nevertheless. It plays with expectations, teaches you not to sit back and take what you’re looking at for granted. And this is the sort of thing that already drives this series, and exemplifies its sheer, effortless quality.

The Time of Angels, then. The first two-part blockbuster episode of Moffat’s era, and also Moffat’s take on Red Dwarf’s Emohawk, or The Next Generation’s Manhunt. Which is to say, an episode which is multiple-sequels-in-one – the return of the Weeping Angels, and River Song – rather than The Doctor fighting Polymorphs or fucking around with the wife of Gene Roddenberry. (Although if anyone can figure out Moffat’s change of heart on returning monsters, let me know. He never seemed keen, and yet we’ve already had two so far this series…)

I can certainly pick ‘em, can’t I? When dividing up reviews for the early part of this series, I was happy to sit back and let Cappsy and Ben take the first two eps, so excited was I about covering a Rollocking Dalek Adventure (nb – not to be confused with a Rolykins Dalek Adventure). But as it turns out, while they got to gush forth about a pair of Moffat scripts that collectively made for the most scintillating season-opening combo we’ve had since the series’ return, I’ve somehow left myself in the position of having to write a balanced review of what might just be the most controversial episode, in terms of fan reaction, since “Love & Monsters”.

And yet. Despite being unable to refute just about every criticism levelled at it… I rather liked it.

It’s a beast! It’s below! It’s a beast and it’s below! It’s The Beast Below!