The Julian Theory

25th April 2010 • Blog Post by Seb Patrick •

The man generally referred to as The Flatmate of the Site, Julian Hazeldine (who will be joining us as a writer later in the series once prior commitments are out of the way), is quite good at coming up with theories, even when they don’t turn out to be correct (his predicted final words for the Tenth Doctor, “I’m that sort of a man”, were a better idea than the ones Russell came up with). And he’s got a doozy of a one about River Song, and Who She Really Is. I’ll hide it behind the jump for those who’ve yet to see The Time of Angels, as it relies partly on hints from the episode, but he reckons…

… that she’s “a part of the TARDIS, sheared off as a result of the crash”. This would at least explain why she can speak Gallifreyan, why she can pilot the TARDIS so well (incidentally, as Paul Cornell has pointed out, does last night’s revelation mean that the Master always leaves the brakes on as well? Was he taught to fly by the Doctor?), why her book looks like a TARDIS, why she knows so much about him, why she “always” trusts him at the same time as mercilessly belittling him… and I’d also add the fact that she specifically refers to the TARDIS as “her” at one point.

I’m sure you can pick holes in it, but it’s not a bad idea, and considering the fact that she clearly isn’t his wife (now that it’s been brought up onscreen and all), it’s as likely a theory as I’ve heard from anyone else so far.

Seb Patrick once met Paul McGann, who immediately pretended to be Mark McGann. He writes for Den of Geek, BBC America, Film4 and the official Red Dwarf website, among others. He owns over thirty toy Daleks and wishes the Dapol factory tour was still open.


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